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Okay, so it's been a while since I've done a post. We systematically fell into the stomach bug season and were all hit in various ways. Our family of 5 is still somewhat recovering. Not the worst we've seen but it's the first time it's hit all of us. I'm just so glad we made it! During that fiasco, my stepdad passed away and we've been taking care of sick kids while planning a funeral and organizing the memorial and dealing with the awkwardness of a broken family. All people that have been involved in his life had little contact with him with the exception of my younger sister and mom. It's definitely been a trying time but man am I ever so grateful for close community at church, the body of Christ as I worked with a different church location to organize everything and the funeral home that assisted and was super patient with our millions of questions, indecisiveness and late replies. I'll stop right here just to mention that I am the queen of run on sentences and I don't see that stopping anytime soon. In this post I'm probably just going to breakdown and sing the praises of the above mentioned groups as I think they are all worthy of a full thank you and it's easier to write it in blog form before delving into the emotional thank you notes that will surely take longer than the time I have between nap time and after school pick up.
So let's start with the gofundme. I thought it might be helpful for my mom to have some help with the cost of the funeral. It took me longer to find a good picture and write something up than it did to register and set up the gofundme. The percentage they take isn't awful and I think it's pretty user friendly for everyone. We have yet to draw against the account simply because we are still receiving donations and I'm really hoping I can provide my mom with the full amount I asked for which is 1k. It's not much and she still ended up having to pull from her 401k but it'll help with any hiccups we've had along the way. And let's just talk about my mom here for a second because she is in a unique situation since she is no longer married to my stepdad. I have to say, the amount of respect I have for her is at a max level. I am amazed at how respectful she has been through this whole process and how well she's been holding it together for my sister and for herself. My mom noticed that my stepdad wasn't responding to text or calls like he usually did and decided to do a wellness check on him. She received the call, waited for the funeral home, sent the remains to another funeral home, reached out to people at 2am on fb to get in contact with his family, has been organizing with the new funeral home and the worst part, she was the one who had to tell my sister. My mother wanted something nice for my sister. She wanted to offer a proper goodbye and an opportunity to help her really understand what was going on. My sister is delayed and a lot of the time while organizing her grasp of death didn't seem to really hit until half the day had passed and she was at the funeral. I'm thankful that my mom decided to reach out to people and that his family was able to say goodbye. I'm happy that he had people who wanted to say goodbye. Anyway, getting back to the gofundme stuff, it's been great to share the link but upon sharing it on my Instagram, someone legit tried to scam me. They asked me what I needed, offered the full amount and said I could trust them (feels very Nigerian prince circa 2003) if I would send them $57 or $50 in itunes giftcards. I was so heartbroken that someone would do that. Since I've worked with spam emails since being hacked a few months back, I decided to take the email address they sent me and plop it into mailbait.com which immediately flooded their inbox with hundreads of emails, every 15 seconds. I also blocked them on IG and contacted IG and contributed to IG on a thread with their names listed. What a waste of time but that felt good. All that to say, if anyone offers you paypal or chase and they don't know you, just offer your gofundme information. It's safer and much more secure.
I attend New Life Community Church here in Chicago. I've been a part of that location I'm at, for about 5 years and have really grown to love my church family. Sometimes I'm like, "UGH THIS FEELS SO MUCH LIKE FAMILY" and other times I think how lucky I am because this feels so much like family. Ultimately, I would've had to pay a lot more out of pocket for all of the baked goods we received and with limited time, a stomach bug circling around us and my personal lack of funds, it was truly a blessing to be able to send an email to the church, ask for help and received the multitude of baked goods that we received. I love our church so much and this was a difficult time. Prayer was needed and I felt really watched out for by my friends. I have had numerous messages and even some people offer meals for us. We're doing much better now so no meals, except that one steak at my friends house, is needed. One thing I'll also talk about here if you've never used it is a site we use all the time called takethemameal.com. I am a huge fan of that site for arranging food for friends or family welcoming a new baby or a family going through a difficult season. I was the recipient of a bunch of food with my second baby, our first while attending this church location, and it literally got us through the weeks of NICU visits and food that we didn't have time or energy to shop for. We didn't use it this time around because I knew God would provide but I knew it would be there if I needed it.
Our church is built with a particular framework. We have individual locations with a main pastor and an elder team. All of which check in and report to the main location but still acts separately with events and sermons etc. I loved our location for it's convenience when we lived in the neighborhood but also keep going there because the sermons are on point, our church unapologetically following scripture and everyone is incredibly welcoming to all persons no matter their lifestyle, race or where they are with their walk with Christ. Also, as head of the events committee, there may be some bias ;). The church my stepdad went to is part of our same non-denominational church. I didn't know what it would be like to work with another church in this capacity and I had no idea what to expect in terms of price for something like this. I reached out to our pastor and asked for the contact at the Melrose Park location and I was greeted with open arms and compassion when it came to setting everything up. They literally lead me through what a wake and memorial would be like and waived all fees since he was part of their congregation. They have a great set up there with lots of cool tech stuff I'd love for our location and a great open basement that was split for grieving family and for the general public. I had lots of help from their office manager who was so experienced and so helpful. He was communicative, sensitive to our situation and absolutely wonderful when it came to setting up our baked goods and refreshments. I really felt like the body of Christ was working together and really, all the glory to God. Pastor Henry was really helpful with coming up with a good sermon/goodbye with some personal stories he was able to share about his relationship with my stepdad and some from our family. He talked with me about forgiveness and prayed for us as we said goodbye. I hope someone accepted Christ that day. And if not, I at least feel good that they heard the gospel and I'm praying seeds were planted.
The funeral home we worked with is called Carbonara funeral home. It's small, family owned and just down the street from the church. Michael, one of the family members who owns the business was really helpful in explaining so much of what we could expect. He also helped with a number of financial options and gave us a hand when it came to making the better choice for our family. He was also really patient when we were picking out prayer cards. We may have given them the information too late, I'm not really sure but we expected them to be delivered to the church by 1pm and they didn't get there until much later. It was an issue with the printing company. They were apologetic and didn't charge us for them which was also really helpful since we'll be including them in the thank you notes in a few weeks. The funeral home itself was neat and clean. I thought the two guys looked a little disheveled when they weren't working with families but they work in death and looked presentable and professional otherwise. One thing that I thought was really helpful was the remains were delivered earlier than I expected which gave me some time to really just say goodbye. I'm a Christian. I also was a mortuary science major at one point. I know all about what death is from this side and the other and can see how much a person really cares about what they're doing based on what they present to families. Looking at my stepdad as he looked healthy, lying in the open casket, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the Carbonara funeral home did excellent work. Even my mom said he looked great. In his last days he was looking thin, unhealthy and just not all that great according to everyone who saw him before embalming. I've heard about how he died and how he looked and I didn't see anything more than my stepdad in that casket. I said goodbye to flesh knowing that his earthly body remained while his spirit had left days before. For me, seeing him in the casket, I was able to really understand that he's just home now. No more pain, no more worry, no more other issues he was dealing with, he's just delightfully at home.
So, to say that these last few weeks have been a whirlwind is an understatement. I'm pretty sure the guilt of not reaching out to him to share scripture a few weeks back when I felt that gentle tug at my spirit will bother me for a while. I know we were a broken family but we were a family. I'll miss him and I'll forgive him and I get to move on to the next phase of life without a presence of a dad but that's cool, he's with the Lord and honestly, it's much better than where we are and I can peacefully rest knowing that.
Below are links to the above mentioned companies. I receive nothing from them except great customer service at a time when it really mattered.
https://newlifecommunity.church/
http://www.mailbait.info/
https://www.carbonarafuneralhome.net/
https://www.gofundme.com/memorial-services-for-luis-a-navarro&rcid=r01-155190658409-4777945918c14ad2&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w
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Okay, so it's been a while since I've done a post. We systematically fell into the stomach bug season and were all hit in various ways. Our family of 5 is still somewhat recovering. Not the worst we've seen but it's the first time it's hit all of us. I'm just so glad we made it! During that fiasco, my stepdad passed away and we've been taking care of sick kids while planning a funeral and organizing the memorial and dealing with the awkwardness of a broken family. All people that have been involved in his life had little contact with him with the exception of my younger sister and mom. It's definitely been a trying time but man am I ever so grateful for close community at church, the body of Christ as I worked with a different church location to organize everything and the funeral home that assisted and was super patient with our millions of questions, indecisiveness and late replies. I'll stop right here just to mention that I am the queen of run on sentences and I don't see that stopping anytime soon. In this post I'm probably just going to breakdown and sing the praises of the above mentioned groups as I think they are all worthy of a full thank you and it's easier to write it in blog form before delving into the emotional thank you notes that will surely take longer than the time I have between nap time and after school pick up.
So let's start with the gofundme. I thought it might be helpful for my mom to have some help with the cost of the funeral. It took me longer to find a good picture and write something up than it did to register and set up the gofundme. The percentage they take isn't awful and I think it's pretty user friendly for everyone. We have yet to draw against the account simply because we are still receiving donations and I'm really hoping I can provide my mom with the full amount I asked for which is 1k. It's not much and she still ended up having to pull from her 401k but it'll help with any hiccups we've had along the way. And let's just talk about my mom here for a second because she is in a unique situation since she is no longer married to my stepdad. I have to say, the amount of respect I have for her is at a max level. I am amazed at how respectful she has been through this whole process and how well she's been holding it together for my sister and for herself. My mom noticed that my stepdad wasn't responding to text or calls like he usually did and decided to do a wellness check on him. She received the call, waited for the funeral home, sent the remains to another funeral home, reached out to people at 2am on fb to get in contact with his family, has been organizing with the new funeral home and the worst part, she was the one who had to tell my sister. My mother wanted something nice for my sister. She wanted to offer a proper goodbye and an opportunity to help her really understand what was going on. My sister is delayed and a lot of the time while organizing her grasp of death didn't seem to really hit until half the day had passed and she was at the funeral. I'm thankful that my mom decided to reach out to people and that his family was able to say goodbye. I'm happy that he had people who wanted to say goodbye. Anyway, getting back to the gofundme stuff, it's been great to share the link but upon sharing it on my Instagram, someone legit tried to scam me. They asked me what I needed, offered the full amount and said I could trust them (feels very Nigerian prince circa 2003) if I would send them $57 or $50 in itunes giftcards. I was so heartbroken that someone would do that. Since I've worked with spam emails since being hacked a few months back, I decided to take the email address they sent me and plop it into mailbait.com which immediately flooded their inbox with hundreads of emails, every 15 seconds. I also blocked them on IG and contacted IG and contributed to IG on a thread with their names listed. What a waste of time but that felt good. All that to say, if anyone offers you paypal or chase and they don't know you, just offer your gofundme information. It's safer and much more secure.
I attend New Life Community Church here in Chicago. I've been a part of that location I'm at, for about 5 years and have really grown to love my church family. Sometimes I'm like, "UGH THIS FEELS SO MUCH LIKE FAMILY" and other times I think how lucky I am because this feels so much like family. Ultimately, I would've had to pay a lot more out of pocket for all of the baked goods we received and with limited time, a stomach bug circling around us and my personal lack of funds, it was truly a blessing to be able to send an email to the church, ask for help and received the multitude of baked goods that we received. I love our church so much and this was a difficult time. Prayer was needed and I felt really watched out for by my friends. I have had numerous messages and even some people offer meals for us. We're doing much better now so no meals, except that one steak at my friends house, is needed. One thing I'll also talk about here if you've never used it is a site we use all the time called takethemameal.com. I am a huge fan of that site for arranging food for friends or family welcoming a new baby or a family going through a difficult season. I was the recipient of a bunch of food with my second baby, our first while attending this church location, and it literally got us through the weeks of NICU visits and food that we didn't have time or energy to shop for. We didn't use it this time around because I knew God would provide but I knew it would be there if I needed it.
Our church is built with a particular framework. We have individual locations with a main pastor and an elder team. All of which check in and report to the main location but still acts separately with events and sermons etc. I loved our location for it's convenience when we lived in the neighborhood but also keep going there because the sermons are on point, our church unapologetically following scripture and everyone is incredibly welcoming to all persons no matter their lifestyle, race or where they are with their walk with Christ. Also, as head of the events committee, there may be some bias ;). The church my stepdad went to is part of our same non-denominational church. I didn't know what it would be like to work with another church in this capacity and I had no idea what to expect in terms of price for something like this. I reached out to our pastor and asked for the contact at the Melrose Park location and I was greeted with open arms and compassion when it came to setting everything up. They literally lead me through what a wake and memorial would be like and waived all fees since he was part of their congregation. They have a great set up there with lots of cool tech stuff I'd love for our location and a great open basement that was split for grieving family and for the general public. I had lots of help from their office manager who was so experienced and so helpful. He was communicative, sensitive to our situation and absolutely wonderful when it came to setting up our baked goods and refreshments. I really felt like the body of Christ was working together and really, all the glory to God. Pastor Henry was really helpful with coming up with a good sermon/goodbye with some personal stories he was able to share about his relationship with my stepdad and some from our family. He talked with me about forgiveness and prayed for us as we said goodbye. I hope someone accepted Christ that day. And if not, I at least feel good that they heard the gospel and I'm praying seeds were planted.
The funeral home we worked with is called Carbonara funeral home. It's small, family owned and just down the street from the church. Michael, one of the family members who owns the business was really helpful in explaining so much of what we could expect. He also helped with a number of financial options and gave us a hand when it came to making the better choice for our family. He was also really patient when we were picking out prayer cards. We may have given them the information too late, I'm not really sure but we expected them to be delivered to the church by 1pm and they didn't get there until much later. It was an issue with the printing company. They were apologetic and didn't charge us for them which was also really helpful since we'll be including them in the thank you notes in a few weeks. The funeral home itself was neat and clean. I thought the two guys looked a little disheveled when they weren't working with families but they work in death and looked presentable and professional otherwise. One thing that I thought was really helpful was the remains were delivered earlier than I expected which gave me some time to really just say goodbye. I'm a Christian. I also was a mortuary science major at one point. I know all about what death is from this side and the other and can see how much a person really cares about what they're doing based on what they present to families. Looking at my stepdad as he looked healthy, lying in the open casket, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the Carbonara funeral home did excellent work. Even my mom said he looked great. In his last days he was looking thin, unhealthy and just not all that great according to everyone who saw him before embalming. I've heard about how he died and how he looked and I didn't see anything more than my stepdad in that casket. I said goodbye to flesh knowing that his earthly body remained while his spirit had left days before. For me, seeing him in the casket, I was able to really understand that he's just home now. No more pain, no more worry, no more other issues he was dealing with, he's just delightfully at home.
So, to say that these last few weeks have been a whirlwind is an understatement. I'm pretty sure the guilt of not reaching out to him to share scripture a few weeks back when I felt that gentle tug at my spirit will bother me for a while. I know we were a broken family but we were a family. I'll miss him and I'll forgive him and I get to move on to the next phase of life without a presence of a dad but that's cool, he's with the Lord and honestly, it's much better than where we are and I can peacefully rest knowing that.
Below are links to the above mentioned companies. I receive nothing from them except great customer service at a time when it really mattered.
https://newlifecommunity.church/
http://www.mailbait.info/
https://www.carbonarafuneralhome.net/
https://www.gofundme.com/memorial-services-for-luis-a-navarro&rcid=r01-155190658409-4777945918c14ad2&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w
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